my friends and I went for lunch at wywy , saw his car and again with that bitch, i just ignored him, and talk with my friends and laughed eventhough my heart were break into pieces that i recalled back the night that he being so rude to me, urgh what ever, somehow i didnt hate him either, neither that bitch (imma hard person to hate people when im in confusion—— weird), haha (well the bitch part just to make sounds more cool ) because i believe that, ze bitch is not her fault , its his, he were the one who sweet talked women, and make ze women fall in love, and then get bored out of love again, because for me, i don’t believe in one side story, because sometime one side of story leads you to defamation.. i hear story from him like before when we’re couple (which near to an end) he said to me that he cannot love me anymore because of i am anti-social, didnt care abt him,and he said that he is fall in love with that girl by force , and that girl forcing him fall in love with her and his and her family involved too in their love life and we have to broke up by force -_- (which is stupid) and he said its not his will against this,its already been arrange, and he said that the girl like this and that , materialistic,cant cook and stuff,and he don’t like her even a bit (but he said he fall in love by force —- this part i dont even understand),tears fall down, and yes, i flatten his tyres,two of them HAHAHA! before i go :p (hahah puas hati sedikit, dulu atu) that is his side of story before we broke up————- and yes we broke up, and we are hoping for to be together again - but not.

i can see he is happy…with that girl (for a while or so) because i knew him well, that super ego,denial,selfish,talking crap, saying the sweetest word that would “kill every women from diabetes by his word” guy .. — HAH i try to moved on instead and date several jerks. oh well, thats life

I admit that I accused that girl instead of the one i love, but then again, i talked to my best friend (who i think is more experienced in love more than me) she said that “Fa, dont accuse people if u dont know the whole story” and i said “i know the whole story and thats it, finished” , and she said ” what i meant was that, u only know about one side of the story, but you dont know about the other story, like.. from that girl’s mouth” , and i said ” andddd why should i? she is the one who wants him right??” and she said “ya i know, but, yea.. one side of story is not good, and until the end you have to believe the wrong side of story, maybe??” , and so i said “sooo i have to ask her??” , and she said ” yes” , and i was like (macam tah sanang, awkward eh)

but what she said its true tho (abit), if we didnt hear from both sides its useless to believe on one side.

to avoid defamation, i will ask her, soon enough if i have guts, because for me, i dont want the story is hanging there without any explanation, no ending, just to make my mind shut up.. and all of this curiousity will be stop right there.. just like a student, im curious. seriously curious, imma curious person. haha. OH WELL!

*sigh*

minibabydoll:

you’ve become the man you promised me you’d never be.

ok, i think i just type in straight forward.

this is just awkward, i just go out from a restaurant, went to a parking alone, and then what i just saw? my ex car, yes, my ex car, not a far away from mine, and yes with a girl, and guess what, they kissed, i mean.. cross that out, making out in the car, yes… making out, 

i am standing there like a puppet, dont know what to do, where to go to, but my car is there, i pretend to call my friend, and look away..

i guess they spotted me, and you know what he said to me ? ” Fa, umm urghh.. where are you goin??” i said ” somewhere? you just mind your own business, and i mind my business, just go away, you two disgust me”

and he said in a angry tone voice ” YES WE WERE GONNA GO AND GRAB SOME FOOD!! FUCK YOU FA, FUCK YOU!”

i was like, wth is he mad about? ahhh maybe i said the word “disgust” and he just realized that i saw them, awkward, and yes plus i have this feeling of anger inside me, astagfirullahaladzim, :( after that, memories recalling back and my tear were fall,crying while driving is not good, so then i just realized and put myself together to drive to my besfriend’s house, and talk.. Glad that she is understand and the same time make me laugh.. :’) after i cried so hard.

*sigh*

why are all the guys that i know or met just walked away from my life just like that, and why me?  am i cursed? HAHA

oh well, it is the matter of time until i found that someone, the right guy who i thought will never comes into my life, the guy that i want to spend with.. and talk just about anything..

the more i live by each day, i was kinda exposing more and more guys, dating until i dont want to date anymore and yes recently i prefer hangout now rather than dating, it is exhausted tryna to look cute hahahaa

and yes i applied BSP today :P just emailed them and hope for the best :) and i was thinking if i’ve got an approve with BSP, i heard that they will send their people to scholar under their name, and yes will end up working with them tho.. :D hmm i need work , hate livin like this. *bangas*

xoxo

fafa

dear mr,

i know a lil bit every pieces of u, i know u are sad right now, because the look of your face hiding your sad face, u hid it with a fake smile and fake laugh,but through my eyes, u are sad with a fragile heart.. but hey, im here for you if you need me, im just a call, a text, a whenever you need me , im there.. the problem thing is, u need to move on, eventho sometime u think of her (your ex) , like we were first met, like we were laugh and joke around and u tease me a little, im trying so hard to make u move on, with all my effort, and hopefully my effort to make u happy is a huge success..

p/s: im sad seeing u like this .

xoxo

fafa

hey you, why u are so secretive?

dont u know im so down watching you like this  -__-

i dont even have a mood to watch u like this..

i asked u yesterday, and yet..i dont know, until i found out from a friend of mine

now i know, and now i pity you more.

i dont want to see you for a while coz it hurts me n also you..

deep down in my bottom of my heart… - i really miss you :(

well, i asked him a favor

i asked him out, to be my partner to a dinner gathering.

the answer is : reject

pfft

im soooo embarassed -_-

after the gathering, i was gonna go and leave the place, and yet.. HE CAME! ah!!! -_- i cant believe this.. -_- he came and he said, he wanted to see me… longing to see me, yes mr… u should be! :p because me too. i can see it in ur face. so predictable :P HAHHAHAHH nahhhh a bit